Conspiracy Theories

For years members of our group have asked why?  it's easy!  The source of all is in the truth of it!  It is so obvious that sources are true.

French Toast and Snowstorms

You're probably wondering what French Toast and Snowstorms have in common and the answer is this: EVERYTHING!  Have you noticed that every time a snowstorm is forecasted, there are news reports of grocery stores running out of milk, bread, and eggs - the main ingredients for French Toast.  This is not just a coincidence.  Our sources have told us that a large number of milk, egg, and bread producers have grouped together to form an alliance.  They realized that snowstorms cause people to rush to the store to get milk, eggs, and bread.  Snowstorms became their biggest sales days - bigger than the Superbowl and Flag Day, combined.  By funneling their money to the right people - the Weather Channel and the National Weather Service, to name a few - this French Toast lobby has gained control of weather forecasts.  They don't make fake weather forecasts.  People would catch on too quickly.  What they do is this - the forecasters are "encouraged" to exaggerate snowfall forecasts.  For example, the "Blizzard" of March 4-6, 2001 was grossly overforecasted.  Many areas got less than 25% of the snowfall totals that were predicted.  Milk, eggs, and bread flew off the shelves, putting billions of dollars into their wallets of the French Toast lobby members.  The next time you hear a huge snowfall forecasted, remember what you learned here.  Eat the food that you already have.

What happened to the Ford Bronco II?

In 1991 Ford motor company made the decision to discontinue production on their Ford Bronco II model.  Mysteriously in the following year, the Ford Explorer became one of the most popular automobile models EVER!  Ask any ford driver and they will tell you, the Bronco II was better than the explorer.  The bronco II came equipped with large side windows for easy installment of a gun rack....the explorer has tiny windows which make it virtually impossible to install a gun rack.

Meanwhile in the world there was a military conflict going on in the Persian Gulf which involved one Saddam Hussein and the United States (as well as a few other countries no one ever heard of).

Well it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see the connection!!!  Henry Ford designed a machine which ran on refined oil...or gasoline.  The Persian Gulf is one of the top producers of oil in the world.  The deal was this, Ford knew that if the supply of oil was cut, people would cut back on large automobile purchases like Sport Utility Vehicles (and other gas guzzlers).  Therefore it was in the interest of Ford to keep that oil supply unmolested.  Saddam Hussein had always feared the Bronco II because the gun rack made it possible for every American to carry arms for protection.  Well Saddam and Ford made the deal, Ford got rid of the gun rack capabilities and Iraq left Kuwait so the oil would keep flowing.

The Jugular Vein and Pasta

There is no known connection here.

Due to our reputation for exposing conspiracies, we have recently received several unsolicited e-mail messages which provide us with information regarding a particicularly disturbing conspiracy.  This is one of those messages.  The name of the writer has been removed although the rest is exactly as we received it.

Governor,

You should feel good. You are the reason why the public is learning about
illegal campaign contributions from elk!!! Even McCain takes contributions
from elk, and it just has to end!!! It's corrupting our system!!!!!!!

(NAME)
Mad-As-Hell Billionaire

We thank the writer for his kind words, but let us not forget that the problem is still here.  Many believe that the elk are making these donations in hopes that the upcoming elk hunt in Pennsylvania will be cancelled.  But where are they getting all the money?  The answer comes from an unlikely source.  Methamphetamines.  For decades, elk have been deeply involved in the the manufacture and sale of these dangerous drugs.  Who would suspect the gentle elk?